Lately i have taken the time to step back and examine my life. After looking at numerous areas, i stopeed to notice my social life and it really scared me.
In may i had started dating a guy i had been friends with for 3 years previously. 7 months on i am only starting to realise that in being with him i am losing most of my friends, yet he doesn't seem to be. He is the kind of lovable guy who is liked by almost everyone instantly. I have (i should say had) two friends who also like my man, but wouldn't ever tell me. One of them won't speak to me anymore and she used to leave everytime it was just her, my man and myself. i haven't spoken to her properly in a least six months and i don't think we will ever get back what we lost.
I am also losing other friends. Everytime i am around a group of friends, he'll come over and start to take me away. If i don't let him take me away, he'll kiss my hands or neck while i'm trying to talk to people. I really like that he does it, just not that he does it around everyone ALL the time. Also, i can be alone without any friends around and he will go and play a sport with his mates and later apologise about leaving me alone. But it doesn't change anything, he always leaves me alone when i have no friends. I don't understand why he would do that.
I love being with him, and i tell him i love him - but i don't really know if i do. He says it to me too, but i am almost certain he has love confused with lust and that kills me to see. I am so used to him being around now that i can't see my life without him. Plus, now that my friends have been driven away, when what my boyfriend and i have is over, i will have no one. Lately i can't look at him without my heart breaking because when hes there i think of what i've lost because of my love for him and when hes not there i see what i will have when he leaves me.
I knew relationships were meant to be hard, but i never realised just how quickly things can change and that it affects everyone around you.